Reprieve

If this is the best picture I have from the last week, something tells me I need to get my camera out more often!



We were just back from a trip to Ikea. That place always wears me out. The people, the options, the decision making, the constant influx of new ideas and ways we could arrange our house... I'm mentally exhausted by the end of our time there. But then add Jameson to the mix, and I'm really in trouble. His questions, his constant need to touch everything, his objections, his general-spirited-four-year-old-behavior---well, it makes for a challenging time inside my head. By the time we had made the drive home through a surprise snow storm, I was ready for silence, a glass of wine, and a short break from parenting.



But parenting continues even if Mama feels tired and worn out, so a moment of quiet was not on the horizon. When we stepped in the house, all chaos broke out. Both boys were asking for things at the same time, winter clothing was thrown all over, and my thoughts were in more disarray than our clothing-strewn entryway.

These are not the glorified moments of parenting. These aren't the times when your heart beats wildly in your chest with pride and love. These are the moments when you take a deep breath and do your best to get through it without losing control of your temper or emotions. I tried to think of something creative or interesting to say or do that would fix the situation. Nothing was coming, until I remembered a strange observation we've made recently.

Oddly enough, when we send the boys up together to change for bed, they take a really, really long time. When we send the boys up at the same time, I usually brace myself for their return in about 20 seconds. But instead, I freqquently sounds of jumping, laughing, squeals and the occasional yelp in pain. Sometimes it is five minutes---sometimes it is ten or twenty minutes. And when the evening is winding down, and you just need a tiny little break from the presence of so much boy energy and general bounciness, those ten minutes are pure bliss. Sometimes we just collapse with a book, sometimes we start in on the dinner dishes, or sometimes---like last Saturday---I just sit still for a few minutes to decompress.



(and yes, it totally worked on Saturday night... those ten minutes were what I needed to get my head together for the rest of the evening)