Perspectives

Brotherly relations can be understood when you look at their perspectives. Or, more accurately, their propensity for conflict can be understood.

Take Jameson, for example. His whole world revolves being equal to Alex. If Alex gets a Star Wars cup for his drink at breakfast, Jameson must get one too. Even if he already has a perfectly good cup. If Alex gets up from the dinner table to demonstrate some antic, Jameson must also get up and try oh-so-hard to get his body to be as dexterous as Alex's by demonstrating the same trick. If Alex takes off his hat while outside, Jameson will take his off. If Alex gets a new toy, or gains a new skill, Jameson will do everything possible to obtain the same thing. Yep, being equal to his big brother is everything.

(side note: I wonder what this does to one's personality, this constant competing with someone you can never quite catch... is he setting himself up for years of therapy, or for being a successful leader for organizations that come forward from behind? hmm...)

And this would be fine if it wasn't for Alex's perspective. His little brother is alright. Most of the time, he doesn't mind Jameson being around. As long as Alex stays at least one step ahead. Meaning, Alex needs to get slightly more of the coveted snack. Or the "better" cup filled with just a little more juice. In Alex's mind, as the big brother he deserves one more trip down the slide, one more minute in the tub, or one more marshmallow when we light a fire.

So you see where the conflict comes in...

Just the other day I witnessed these two perspectives in action. The situation was a small sledding hill discovered by the church parking lot behind our house. Mama, that mean Mama, demanded that the boys share a sled by taking turns going down the slope.

Which sounds like it would satisfy Jameson, but not necessarily Alex. ("oh well" is my perspective)

But after observing for a few moments I noticed how the big brother had outsmarted Mama's system and Jameson's perspective at the same time.

Alex would slide down the hill, then say, "Jameson, your turn. Come get the sled."

Jameson, super-excited for his turn on the sled, ran down and got it. He carried it up the hill and took his turn sledding down the hill.

Alex would nonchalantly walk up the hill, glance down at Jameson after his turn and say, "Great job, J. Now bring the sled up here to me."

Jameson would get up, pick up the slide again, and carry it up the hill to Alex.

It only took about six or seven times for Jameson to catch on.

Note--below is a short video of Alex's ingenuity when his parents were too tired and sick to take him to a "real" hill.